Briefly settled and with access to the Internet and alcohol, my experiences begun...

Chapters Include :

Official campaign day One...
Day Two...
Day three...
Day three refuses to end as I crawl into day four...
Day.... Who knows...Where am I...?
Day whatever, condition critical, somewhere there was a weekend involved...
Day 18, or something like that...
Good morning Vietnam...
Work done for the night...
Me and the Mayor...
And then it came to me...
The Penguin Investigation Bureau...
A day wiser...
Day, whatever...
8th of the 8th of the 8th... at 8 seconds past 8 minutes at...Whatever!
Greeks, well their just like normal people, but Greek I suppose...
(Untitled).
Tooth ache...
Having a National Identity in Greece...
Tellas - Avoid them like the plague...!
Sunday and Religion...
Greek women... I had to at some point risk everything...!
One man Riot...
Back shortly...
So its that time of year again...
Wahoo-dee-hoo-dly doooo...
A Taxi a fight, nearly getting run over and nearly arrested for the priveledge... Welcome to Greece!
OTE...The saga continues...
If you feel down, then this is my story, though it's still now unfinished, i'm glad...
Springtime Cleavage...
Well, its been a while.

Official campaign day One...
13:37 on 31 May 2008

Woke up late, in the finest Greek tradition and am having a cheese and ham croissant with a black coffee whilst listening to Pearl Jam, so far so good.

Cigarrettes and beer may follow, after all it's still early.

Day Two...
11:53 on 01 June 2008

So far so good, despite being subjected to another death metal music fest last night, yet again by the citizens of where I am currently staying, I managed to overcome the desire to go out and strangle the numbnuts responsible.
Having to listen to what sounds like the Daleks ranting over some pre mangled deep purple records doesn't constitute being called music, ever... I feel the most for the children of the people who listen to this kind of 'ear murder'. What will they grow up listening to, what chance have they in this world...

If you, appreciate good music, then the next time you see a death metal album, shoot the idiot who bought it. Its no good destroying the CD, its already been made, but by blowing the idiots head clean off his shoulders you will have saved the world of a moron and a future generation of potential Petrol pump attendants...

So far the campaign trail is heating up, well, here in Greece everything is heating up come to think of it...

The day has started, i know because I am awake and am semi dressed. I'm about to indulge in my second black coffee and possible first glass of ice cold water. This is now essential as my body heat reaches maximum and I sit here watching steam ooze out of my body, either that or I've let rip and am unaware of such activity...

Mission for today is to complete a few animations and a few graphics for the ACTUP myspace page, most of the ground work has been done however now it needs the TLC it deserves.

Music is imminent and food may follow, I prepare myself for what is and only can be, Sunday...

Day three...
21:05 on 02 June 2008

Day two bled into day three as work, projects and beer got the better of me...

Its enlightening to know that the whole culture is indifferent to work, social hours and drinking, coming in at 3 in the morning to start work drunk is quite cool, even if a little un-nerving when you sober up at a computer terminal not realising you've been working.

Later, I hope to work out what on...! Animation is inspiring when you have no limits, I had even fewer at some point this morning, thats all I know.

Listening to music whilst drinking coffee is my last recollection prior to being sat outside writing notes about whatever it was I'd done, was about to do, or what I may indeed have been thinking about doing at some point.

Either way, having seen the finished render I'm more than chuffed that the 'work faeries' paid me a visit at some point.

Just for reference, thats the 'work faeries' as in the type found in the UK with wings, not the rampant selection you can choose from over here...!

Day three is here, I know it is as I am conscious of a day four being imminent.

Day three refuses to end as I crawl into day four...
07:36 on 04 June 2008

Had a video presentation for the UN on HIV/Aids for ACTUP ΔΡΑΣΕ HELLAS which has to be finished for today at some point, been up a staggering amount of hours this week finishing off the 3D rendering whilst completing the Flash presentation at the same time.

Didn't believe it was possible to put the body throught this sort of regime and still feel relatively ok... For now at least I'm at one with being a zombie, I've got the munchies, I look like death warmed up, and I'm half dressed and wandering around in a daze, if Micheal Jackson can take the time out from melting or dabbling with Kids then if I felt safe on set I'd consider doing a new video for thriller for him, just as capturing this look without make-up is quite an achievement...

Anyway, managed to get all the animation finished so far, completed all except the minor details for the Flash aspect of it and am about to crawl into bed in a few minutes when i finish my coffee, its now 7:35 am, and I'm aiming to be in a catatonic state by 8:00 am. Hopefully I'll get four hours or so before everyone starts waking me up and another day of mentality begins.

Apart from a few minor details, its nearly done and should be ready to hand over later today.

Can't be bothered to attempt any humour or to attempt any witty outlooks on life and living at the minute as i'm too f*cked to care to be fair.

If you want a laugh, look in the mirror...I just have!

Day four will continue, I have a feeling it won't leave me alone...

:D

Day.... Who knows...Where am I...?
11:54 on 05 June 2008

Well, me and my body managed to survive the rigours of yesterday, somehow. After getting a 2 hour power nap at 8 I was woken up by work, I dragged myself to my PC and somehow managed to finish whatever the hell I was working on...

Thankfully the deadline was met, I'd just burned off a copy to test for myself when the 'Boss' turned up, seriously, love it when that happens. He was suitably impressed and everyone else liked it so that was the main objective achieved.

It was quite a strange project as I had no brief, no real information or guidance on what I was to do, I just had three days to pull something out the bag and make a presentation showcasing the organisations campaigns and goals, something that would stand out.

Quite bizarre for me when you think about it, three weeks ago I was nearly working in Skiathos, selling Appartments, when by accident I fortunately found out that the company was particularly bad, prior to that I turned down the opportunity of working in Rhodes as the company I was offered the job with wasn't all it said it was, now I suddenly find myself in the middle of an organisation as what can be only described as a media/promotion role, something that just happened by pure chance.

Last night me and my friends, Guiness and Tia maria did a few to celebrate the completion of the project so I shall endeavour to sober up properly before I add to my weeks comments, back later...

Day whatever, condition critical, somewhere there was a weekend involved...
19:12 on 10 June 2008

Well, not really sure what day I'm on, all I know is that its Monday and apprently there was a weekend with me involved in it somewhere.

I woke up next to a Cat, knowing that I'd stopped off for two Chicken Souvlaki's late last night, one for me and one for the Cat, i do remember that bit...

Before that there was some time involving me and a few pints of Guiness, frequent meetings with Tia Maria, a few free ones as well which I'm getting used to here...Actually, bits are coming back to me...

I remember sitting outside my new local, sat in the shade with the rain slowly running off the Umbrella, listening to Blur's Tenderness, thinking how strange, I could be in Manchester, how sh*t's that... Well, apart from the heat, the food, Guiness costing five euro's fifty a pint...

Bejesus!...Good job I'm not a Paddy, Oid have a fookin Heart attack...

So, other than that I'm good, blew about a hundred Euro's on lord knows what, i know there was food, lots of it judging from my rapidly expanding waistline. I also know that i'd had nine drinks before I met our works handyman and bought him a drink too, then I remember getting the first of several free drinks, and then there is now...

The Cat's the Bosses, he left it with me to look after as he's in New York for the Meeting this week, and its just had the operation done and needs medication...

As for the Kebabs, well, they were needed, I'm afraid I was terribly, terribly drunk...

Had an Earthquake as well, not personally, i think there were a few more people than just me involved, I haven't seen the News yet, but a) pointless as its in Greek, and b) haven't got a TV here, sort of makes the choices apparent really...

And now there is work and coffee involved, I'm having a non Drinking day today, well, sort of, I'm not drinking in the Day at least, now its kind of evening and therefore I should probably be ok now...I'll keep you posted though, it could all go Pete Tong!

Toodles...

Day 18, or something like that...
12:37 on 18 June 2008

Well, i'm still alive so i'm told, thankfully a second opinion helps these days, even when its from a small cat that proceeds to try to lick me to death every morning...

The food and beer hasn't killed me yet, despite several very good attempts on my life, including yesterday afternoon's - 'one Pint'!

Always a fatal saying as far as sayings go, 'one Pint' isn't a word that truly exsists really, it does in the context of 'one' and 'Pint', but other than that they take on a whole new meaning once you put the two together.

'One Pint' now comes with the added itinary of ten or more, with Tia Maria's, 2 Souvlaki's and if its still open, possibly Ice cream too, usually means that i'll be perched on the Park Bench across from where I am dreaming of whatever I am dreaming about when i'm in such a state.

Fortunately I've always handled my drink quite well, don't get me wrong, I can still be an arse like everyone when i'm three sheets to the wind, however i apparently never appear to be that drunk, or so people think and tell me anyway. Even when I can hardly speak and the only thought on my mind is either food or sex, and probably not in that order, people still say i look sober!!! Not sure how that works but it does for me... Either true or thier completely blind drunk and are talking about someone else completely, either way, i take it as quite a compliment in some ways, probably shouldn't as drink is a curse, especially when they stop serving, boy do I start cursing...

Anyhow, still Cat sitting, started out as a three day mission, now a week and a bit, don't mind as its cute as hell, fairly well behaved and apart from trying to eat me, were getting on like two little fonzies... Last night was the only night i didn't return with the summer's latest food accessories, chicken Souvlaki's and i don't think my mate was impressed. I opted for Ice cream instead and it wouldn't have been right buying a Cat Ice cream, I don't even know what flavour she likes...!

So, onwards with the waking up and stuff and time to take the world by the Balls and Whoop some Ass, or do a bit of work before the heat drives me to Milkshake territory, dangerous ground as the Ice cream parlour is next to the Guiness fun filled dreams parlour, and once I'm out the building, anythings possible, especially the 'one Pint' rule. It got me yesterday, will it get me again today...Who knows...?

Please, if you find out first, someone let me know...

Good morning Vietnam...
16:12 on 22 June 2008

Well, its another day survived, f*ck knows how as its 3:27pm, I've been up since yesterday and only stopped drinking at 7am this morning. A particularly bad day at the office dragged on to a week's worth of sh*te so the impending message my brain was sending my body all day yesterday was to get blind drunk...And I am, did, will...

I'll give you a quick run down of events, It started when my room kept being violated, I'm currently staying at my work place as a temporary measure till I now get sorted in Athens... No one respects my privacy, people do what they want when they want, and then this week I have a 100euros stolen, not the first time either. There are two people who I suspect, and to be fair, I'd say that both of them rather than one were and could have done it on either occassion, however sadly without any proof I can't do anything at this stage, as had i any proof what so ever I would still be pulling teeth out slowly with a monkey wrench.

On Friday, having noticed that people had been in and out of my room all week, I proceeded to set up the room just to confirm or not that someone had been entering it. When i returned that night my fears were confirmed, and not just that, my clothes had been gone through and several other discrepancies had happened as well, including the loss of 100 euros.

This added to the sh*te i'd been having already of delays with regards to sorting out my contract at work, which not only is unsettling but leaves me unable to still aquire a property over here, a distinct lack of sleep due to work, acute heat exposure, not eating properly and missing my two cats back in the UK... :(

After now seemingly being supported by all the local Barstaff in Exarhia, we set about getting me horrifically drunk... I'm still not so sure of the outcome as I have loosely had a couple of hours sleep when i first came in, which subsequently, I can't remember doing at all, the coming in or the sleep... and also, as i was unable to finalise the night with a Souvlaki due to them being shut, I am now hungrier than a hungry, hungry hippo...

My little companion the Cat I was looking after, has returned to his rightful owners which in some ways is nice, however also leaves me missing my little chicken nibbling companion... I still tenatatively search around the workplace for where she may have snook of to only to realise she's gone, however that could also still be due to the amount of blood in my alcohol sytem.

I now befriended another Barowner who ended up supplying me with drinks till the early hours this morning, I just wish he sold Guiness and food, had he have done so I would have adopted him...

On top of those events, a guy who works here was asked to leave on Friday, no comment with regards to my previous statements, and subsequently no connection either, however i took it upon myself to secure the PC's and make sure no information of bad practice could happen as he still has a key to here. Thankfully I did as we discovered a PC riddled with password hacking software, spyware, monitoring software and much much more. Personally speaking, to even have such software on your PC would normally get you an express Taxi to your local Police station but things are different here, and we've still yet to see what he has to say to account for this when he turns up this week to collect his stuff. Ho hum, having worked in computers for quite some time now, i've never seen so much potential on a PC to do harm, damage and or to violate peoples privacy. Still quite shocked, but not surprised as your gut feeling about people is usually right, and mine was sadly.

Sometimes stupidity is a clever mask worn only to hide true intention, deception and possibly worse still, and its good fortune if your lucky enough to discover it before it causes you too much harm, hopefully we have been lucky in that nothing serious has happened, hopefully...

Time to get some food as I'm monster hungry, I'm in need of a deep fried Elephant with some Jumbo chips...

Work done for the night...
01:28 on 01 July 2008

Offski, time to get nuked...Updates tommorow as i'll be in a better state then...!

Me and the Mayor...
18:03 on 07 July 2008

So, its been a while, haven't had much time to post any new updates as life's been doing all it can to ensure i stay in a catatonic state of limbo, not actually doing the 'limbo', but in limbo, a state near catatonia so i hear...

Well, the weekend started early, again. I think it was thursday when i officially knew about it this time, there was a launch at Kiehl's in Athens, Kolonaki square, at their new shop-in a-shop erm, shop kind of thingy...

I had to represent the cause, didn't need much persuading mind you, free nibble's, cocktails, champagne and totty everywhere, well it was simple really, i had to go... :D

To be fair, it went well, I managed to meet the Mayor of Athens which was a bit strange, for him anyway. Someone should have really given him advanced warning that there was a 'me' in town, it's a wierd shock to be face to face with a 'me' when you probably haven't even seen one on the TV or anything either... He was suitably impressed with my good self when i realised that he wasn't after my vote, my Political career could have blossomed had I been a sausage eating choir boy. Fortunately for him, he keeps his seat in power a little longer...!

On the night, well, the view's were splendid, skimpy and hot spring to mind, and thats just the men, the women we're much better than hoped for too, except for the ones without either nibbles or champagne, something has to be done about those evil biatches...Grrr...

Anyway, they are working with us to help raise awareness and to help raise the profile of the work we do. Not the hot and skimpy totty, sadly, Kiehl's... I'm still working on them though...

Afterwards we ended up going for a drink or three and ended up in a surreal place eating things on paper things at some silly hour in the morning. I remember being dared to eat a bull's testicle, it was in the restaurant mind you, not in a field, you know i wasn't expected to just hack one off and have a nibble, however i stood up to the challenge. Still fatal daring me to do much, but they learn't...

I wouldn't say they'll be on my xmas list this year but they weren't the worst thing i've eaten. Lets just say that Bull's everywhere will be able to breathe a sigh of relief when i go there again for food...

Meanwhile, the totty won't be so safe...

And then it came to me...
13:12 on 13 July 2008

Ever wonder about the state of your mind, how good or bad it really is. I do.

Its when your waking up in the morning and your getting ready for the day to begin that your mind wanders and you find yourself thinking...

I wonder if you had a miniature nun, could you hide her successfully amongst a group of penguins...?

Thats my thought for the day, not what am i going to wear or eat, but 'I wonder if i could hide a miniature nun amongst penguins...'

Is it me?

To be continued...

The Penguin Investigation Bureau...
15:53 on 16 July 2008

Well, its happened, I've set up the PIB. The 'Penguin Investigation Bureau', it needed to be set up a long time ago but due to the Political climate, I had to wait till now to begin my research.

From its base in Athens, Its job is to pursue and track ruthless and dangerous Penguins. If your life is affected by Penguins, then fear not, the Penguin Investigation Bureau is here...

Firstly, i need to set up the hotline, and then the witness protection scheme then we're all safe...

We offer supprt and help into people infected with Penguinism, people who think they are Penguins and also People who think they are Nuns... Similarly we try and rehabilitate Penguins who think they are Nuns and Nuns who think they are Penguins.

Together they combine to become a deadly combination, or one at least you'd struggle to differenciate between if say they were all the same size at distance.

We offer help on the following subjects :

How to spot a Penguin.
How to spot a Nun.
The difference between a Penguin and a Nun.
How to tell if its a nun dressed as a Penguin.
How to tell if its a Penguin dressed as a nun.
Obvious signs.
What to do if your offered a Penguin.
What to do if your offered a Nun.
What to do if your not offered a Penguin.
What to do if your not offered a Nun.
How to deal with Penguinisms.

The hotline and website will be active shortly, however if you have a Penguin related incident in the meantime, call your local Police service for assistance.

They should have a department that deals with such enquiries and will be more than happy for your call.

Yes, I'm mad. Firstly, my little delusionary thought about hiding a nun amongst a group of Penguins affected me so severely that i had hysterical laughter all that day, and most of the night, sat alone often crying with tears of Laughter, chuckling to myself like a loon...

Also affected work quite badly as everyone now knows i'm mad, i had warned them beforehand but they just politely smiled and thought i was just having a laugh...How wrong they were...!

And still there are Penguins on the loose...

Its no Coincidence that we have no Ozone Layer and we have Penguins in the same vicinity, think about it, they are slowly trying to gain access to the mainlands in what will be a decisive push for victory. Don't say you haven't been warned...

As for the Bermuda triangle, its easy, scientist have failed to find a reason for years, and i'm going to spell it out now for them. PENGUINS.

They are slowly getting everywhere, soon they'll be stealing our jobs and subsequently our fish, and we all do nothing, not anymore, we live in dangerous times.

A time for the Penguin Investigation Bureau.

If you need to talk, we have to listen...

Fear not, time is on our side, however please feel free to visit out site when its online to see our available anti-Penguin range.

A day wiser...
20:09 on 23 July 2008

Not bloody likely, older, yes, wiser, who knows, although after the amount of alcohol forced down my neck last night i'd say not...

Greece has it in for me, everywhere I go it seems like everyone's trying to get me drunk or p*sssed... I love this country...!

TBC...

Day, whatever...
20:36 on 01 August 2008

Well, apart from the insanity that is my life, its all been a bit too full on to be doing this typing thing lately. Works been mental, life's been mental, i've been mental, and well, mental things have been, well, mental i guess...

I managed to survive another birthday, this my first and probably many here in Greece. Managed to get absolutely car crash wrecked on the generosity of the Athens folk... Who ever they were...

But seriously, who ever you were, thanks. One day soon I'll remember bits about the night and wonder even more...

So, apart from my dear friend, who shall remain nameless for legal reasons... :D - who managed to leave my washed clothes in the back of a Taxi in Exarhia, I'm ok. Having come here with little else other than myself and a few items of clothes, I now find myself here with litle else other than my goodself these days...

On the upside, its promted me to aquire a new outlook on the few items i was left with, the ability to feel almost completely naked as a being would be a fairly good assumption on my state, plus, I've been fortunate now to have to get some more clothes and to explore the inner depths of Athens for places that sell things other than Alcohol... And guess what, Wow, there's a whole new world here...

I also have managed to secure a place of residence in Galatsi, a nice area that suits me, not to mental compared to the haven of ill repute that is Exarhia. I'll miss it... :(

Fortunate work will always pull me here and the fresh challenge i now must face is having to pass my locals to get to the bus stop to get home, my ultimate fear is that i will now be paying for a Flat to live in and still be living in my favorite little drunken den!

Ho hum...

So, been shopping, i now have a kettle and, - AND a frappe whisker thingy, whatever their called. My first one... Awwww...

Shame I'm not into Frappe's yet, well, apart from ones lacced with Baileys, they rock and roll...However on the upside also, greek people will see my commitment to the cause... And of course be able to have Frappe's in my groovy ickle garden...

Yay. . . Just been sourcing accessories and BBQ's for an eventual house warming type thing, no idea when, as there may be many, but if your in Greece feel free to say hi and pop by if your in the hood now as i have a spare room to accomodate even the fattest people... :D

Have been busy with work, webwork and poster designs, still working on bits of the site but am having to chase up elements of the system to get info from which isn't easy here, work scares a few of the people i work with, even watching me work makes some of them queasy...

Fortunately we have a mid break so things get a little easier and i can finally have some 'me' time. Getting my pad sorted is number one priority, then getting my stuff, my puddytats over and seeing my friends and family in the Uk soon for a quick visit will also be cool... So hopefully see you all soon, either in the Uk, in my garden or in my world somewhere...

All the best to all,

Si

:D

8th of the 8th of the 8th... at 8 seconds past 8 minutes at...Whatever!
15:17 on 08 August 2008

Supersticious, I am.

Not sure why or of what but I just am, I tend to avoid walking under ladders not because i fear that one day it will have an adverse effect on my life, more because i fear a fat useless builder will either fall on me or drop something from high above.

I don't break mirrors as a rule either, not only could it get expensive, but you have to replace them, you could cut yourself in the process and to get all the bits up is annoying and dangerous too. I have accidentally smashed a few mirrors in my lifetime and bizarrely enough, i've had bad luck throughout my life.

I don't blame the mirrors though for my poor judgement at times, nor do i blame it for the deaths of those around me who have passed on through old age and illness, I neither blame the mirrors for me picking particularly bad girlfriends in the past either, some we're great and life just wasn't to be however blaming these unfortunate incidents on a mirror is somewhat foolish to say the least. It would be far easier to blame the toaster or the socks that i was wearing that morning, however then i'd be having to buy a new toaster and not be wearing many socks...

Is it supersticion or common sense...? Who knows...

The 8th of the 8th of the 8th, is there anything memorable or fantastic about it or is it just another obvious day and time frame that will happen and was always meant to happen...

Good luck, maybe, bad luck, possibly, but should we not make our own luck, if thats possible then i hope to make mine here in Greece where i failed in the UK.

It seems that we always have to make something out of nothing as a species, todays media spirals this out of control in an attempt to have us discuss more and more irrelevant issues in life. I don't recall the 7th of the 7th of the 7th last yearbeng anything special, or the year before that or did i miss the bigger picture. Was my life so badly affected because of these dates or wasi just unlucky in life anyway...

Will we ever know, i hope not, i quite like blindly wandering through life and all it has to give and take with myself thinking that everything happens for a reason, a reason we should never understand or appreciate.

Is there any point to this, well no. However i do feel compelled to write about this, is this the effects of today washing all over my body, something so strong and powerfull driving me to write such trivial and benign, pointless waffle in a vague attempt to solve the mysteries of the universe or is this a result of being so utterly bored out of my mind that the thought of such trivia is the only thing keeping my frail mind focussed on reality...

Do I care, do you, does anyone, and further more, will we ever know... Should we know or should we all erase our brains from such simplistic foolery, ignore the media and its futile attempts to make news out of nothing when there are so many real stories that don't even get covered. This is for many reasons, some due to lack of opportunity, some due to censorship and some due to the fact that the truth would scare us and leave us in a complete state of panic, instead we dine on a diet of celebrity horsesh*te, sporting trivia, inane stupidity and whatever else the media machine feeds us.

If you didn't realise it, there's a little more to the world, our lives and the way we live as a species that is slightly more important than whether or not the 8th is going to make a difference to our lives.

Despite all this though, we still read such trivia...

Case proved! :D

Greeks, well their just like normal people, but Greek I suppose...
16:14 on 15 September 2008

So, living abroad...Its a bit like being in a goldfish bowl till you accustom yourself to the language and the cultural differences, certainly at first it feels surreal, you know your there, but you just can't interact with much.

Greece in particular has a madness about itself that means even for most Greeks they often appear to be invisible, this is most obvious when you try and get on or off a bus a train or into a taxi. There are times when you wonder if they'd just so much as climb over you than miss whatever it is they're trying to cram themselves into. This isn't just common place in Greece of course, Antwerp and London are similarly as mental, however they at least seem to know that they are climbing over you as they do.

A lack of spacial awareness is something else that i've noticed more than anywhere else in the world, don't be surprised if while your waiting for a bus you begin to feel someone pressed up against you as you wait despite having meters of room to find somewhere else to be. Its not that its on purpose, its just something that happens without due thought.

As for the roads and pavements, as a pedestrian its bad enough but for a motorist it must be hell, people will happily stand in the middle of the road, on the wrong side of the road and use the main street as the pavement to get somewhere when needed. Bus lanes don't seem to exist, however when road laws seem to be largely non existant anyway, why bother worrying about things like buses.

Also at times it seems like there's a silent competition that develops between people whilst waiting for the bus. The one who can get furthest into oncoming traffic wins. Reams of people fighting it out to get into the road lest the bus not see them... No fear, and no surrender...

Dodging things in Greece has become a hobby of mine, its seems to be quite popular as well as everyone seems to enjoy the near death experiences that being out in public can bring you on your daily travels. Bikes, cars, buses and lorries all routinely make up the numbers in the game of life, and it truly must be a game here by all accounts.

When you've seen a whole family including newborn baby, mum and dad dicing with death on a 20 year old moped in the center of athens, its clear that it can't be real, surely no one would risk destroying a whole family lineage over a frivolous disregard for safety.

People riding motorbikes of all sizes and either being on their mobile or eating as their helmet hangs leisurely from their elbows is common place, you wouldn't think it was against the law, (which i'm assured it is) by the numbers doing it. Its more a fashion accessory to those wishing to have their heads spread all over the roads in the event of something accidental befalling them, something to impress with or somewhere to to store extra items as they dash from kiosk to kiosk, bar to bar.

As for drink driving... At night especially it seems common place and almost mandatory from the numbers you see on the roads. The Police fail to do anything as I expect it would involve having to do some work or something like that, and this would result in them having to take time out of their strict timescale that requires they intimidate as many peoples they can for no reason at all.

Food is somewhat of a speciality that Greeks will happily endure for as long as it comes, something that i found strange at first, but now love.

Coming from a country that virtually throws you out the minute you seem to have finished, its different, completely. Having the luxury of being able to actually enjoy and taste what it is you've ordered is great, sometimes as i found out, food almost does last all day, certainly when you take into account your task of trying to get out, pay and say goodbye to people. One day will soon not be enough...

The 24 hour culture that i am now an active member of though is great, time seems to be a thing of the past in Greece, as things just happen when they do, with or without reason.

Greeks, I'm a big fan anyway, the people i have met on the whole are great, they either try and embrace you and your life or they appear scared and try not to get too involved. They are often weary of their English ability despite speaking better than many UK citizens that I know, and despite the Greek language being from another Planet, most of the advertising is in English, or Greeklish which as complex to work out than the enigma code at times.

I'm slowly learning the language. Leave me in a bar and i'll not only survive, but i'll usually know everyone by the end of the night, however try and decipher what two Greeks are saying and well, it's like understanding the chatterings of two Martians on Cocaine. Sometimes the language seems to stream together to form a wall of word, not words as its often difficult to hear a break in what they say, however this is something i expect of most languages, and I know many have said the same of English.

At least it doesn't have too much in way of slang so in some aspects it should be to the point, if only slightly mind blowing as well.

The women deserve a special section to cover them as they are truly something special here, i will endeavour to cover that later in the next instalment of my Greek observations.

For now, as i sit sitting, watching the world go by, enjoying the flurry of "Malaka's" being thrown about with outdue care, i shall kindly reflect on the good, strange and unusual that has befallen me so far...

See you soon...

(Untitled)
17:15 on 29 September 2008

Well, its another day I'm told...

Its Monday, 3:11pm, I'm at work, been here since Sunday 11:00am, been home once two hours ago to change clothes and sort myself out, got back and am consciously trying to force myself awake with Coffee, cigarettes, Iced Tea, chocolate chip biscuits, coffee, and some serious tunes. Started off nice and mellow as i thought that would be gentler on my head and general state of being, but had to resort to some Faithless, 'tearing off tights with my teeth', Rage against the Machine, 'Bombtrack' and 'killing in the name of', to Ferry Corstens 'punk' which has just this second ended. Now begins The Verve's new 'love is noise', which is my new vice tunewise at present...

Completely Irrelevant I know but, nice to see they never lost the spark and vibe they had for the new material.

So, meanwhile still in 'just awakeland' is me, half wanting to have a mental one and be somewhere clubbing or thrashing out a riff, and half Perry Comatose, wanting to pass out in a hot bath being massaged by God himself.

Well, I haven't the courage to even attempt a thesis or description of Greek women today as mentioned in my previous post as i feel my weakened state could cloud my thoughts, my mind, my body, myjudgement and my self control, wherever that hides itself!

So, the weekend. Well, it was. Its definately been a weekend, i wouldn't say a good one here weather wise particularly, however fairly mad in one way or another. Currently working on a new modified loading section for a website, part transferring and organising files between dinosaur PC's.

Once we upgrade shortly, i wouldn't mind having them carbon dated to see what their running on. I think my nan's sturdy wrought iron typewriter, (which incidentally was used for the idea of the typewriter in the Flintstones) had more memory.

I'm also working on a simple catalogue of handcrafts and a myspace layout for a local client who makes them and is hoping to get more exposure online, details will be forthcoming... but they trade as BKCorner and are on myspace if you want to see what they do, the page has only just been aquired but it features a selection of their wares.

In other aspect's its been very good on the whole, have a very good friend who knows a few of the right people in my industry to introduce me to a few new potential clients shortly, as well as meeting some truly amazing people on here recently as well.

What i love most about creativity and individualism is that it makes you appreciate all the potential good that exsists between people out of a genuine interest and flair in what they do, what they are, and in the things they believe in and aspire to be.

When you meet some people who make a difference in your life and you know deep down that they are always who they seem to be, and who they intended to be its a fantastic feeling. The world is full of so many rich, vibrant and colourful people that if you look deep enough you never cease to be amazed. It doesn't always happen, but when it does its a really good feeling. One I've had recently over many different aspects of life and its many levels.

Since coming to Greece the beginning was very difficult. Till you do it yourself you'll never truly understand what its like to move to another country, especially if it has as language as rich and different to others such as Greek is to French or German. Not only in the way its structured but the letters were devised by an ancient alien race who were complately stoned out of their minds at the time anyway.

The hardest part is being able to look at the words and switch off your perception of what you expect them to be, when you see a 'p' and recognise it as an 'r', and a 'n' is a 'v', then your on the right track. Pronouncing it for an Englishman is like trying to learn saxophone with no lips, at first you look stupid and sound ridiculous, but then after a while you look stupid and sound ridiculous.

I'd say it gets easier the more you use it, 'please' and 'thank you', 'malaka', are the words that for many make up the everyday verbal soup that gets it flowing for many, also used in everything from greetings to insults, its just how you give it out.

I haven't reached out to my Brothers and siters on here for a while, old and new so, i'd like to say hello to any new people here to my humble ramblings, may something have mercy on your souls...

- And yes that was a p*ss take, i don't ever talk like an evangelist, just for those of you who don't know me, and who could mistake the intent...

:D

As you may have guessed and or realised by now is that i'm new to Greece. Been here over four months now, almost coped with the intense heat that it lays on you in the summer, so far survived the madness that is so called 'traffic', and managed to crawl out of many a fine food establishment full with the finest foods.

There must be special mention of the local bars too for keeping me as sane as they have done during this time. To follow.

So, let me briefly explain my plight, he says...

I left the UK wanting a new challenge, the UK was physically making me ill, the state of the industry i worked in was unbearable, the weather was driving me insane at times, and my family had become distant due to the deaths of my Grandparents which were the family glue that kept us all close. And the demise of a relationship's of course.

Having a slightly disfunctional upbringing, and having moved numerous times due to my stepdad's work made me have to adapt quickly, having to move to Canada with my parents when i was young was amazing but at the same time very hard. Having to come back to the UK and suffer as we all did their eventual demise made me in some ways the way I am now in some big aspects of my life.

My closeness with my Grandparents due to living with them for a small period as a child learn't me of the world and gave me the hunger i have for travel and seeing the world.

I've always loved seeing and experiencing other cultures, not as an observer but as someone who seeks something different than what he's had before.

I'm British, born in Nottingham, mum and real dad both British, Granddad Polish, Grandma British however i don't feel British inside.

The place that has always been considered home to me was Canada. From 9 - 15 they were the best years of my life in some aspects, also some of the most harrowing, but character building days. Days that you know shaped what you are inside. You see my dad sadly was never on the scene, my step dad met my mum when she was having me and raised me till they divorced, however having spent a time with my grandparents, my Granddad became my father figure.

I learn't so much off him growing up, so the way i was and often am to my friends in their ideals and values is very different and old fashioned.

My upbringing was quite bad, it had some really good moments in it, and it could have been a hell of a lot worse too, so I'm gratefull for all i have and emerged with.

Having moved some ten or more times before i had finished the age of school has made me almost fear settling into a place or area too well, as subconciously I guess I have always expected to be moving at some point. The few times i could have maybe done it and should have, i guess life got in the way.

Canada was a turning point as i went from stuggling to learn an English curriculum, to then having to learn a Canadian one, in French. Quebec used to make all the children of foreigners learn the Countries native tongue so at least one memer of every new family of any nation can get by. A damn good thing too.

It wasn't easy, and i was never the most obedient child as people who knew me then will tell you.

Since coming to Greece though I instantly felt at home, the country, the weather, the way of life was just meant for me. There's so much that i like. Sure there's lots that is different to what your maybe used to, but as i find each new day, it brings so much more.

As previously mumbled about by my self a while back, I being a serious Tea-head as we say in the UK, have real issues with cold coffee. The mighty 'frappe' is a concept i really struggle with, in the uk, if my coffee went cold i threw it away and made a hot one. Its a by product of something once nice, to a state of bland naffness that i just can't sit with all day long. Don't get me wrong, I'm not disrespecting one of your National treasures, i'm just saying its not for me just yet.

There have been times when i've had half of it and enjoyed them somewhat, and sometimes the heat is so intense the thought of a hot drink makes sweat trickle down you leg anyway, however the need for caffeine is still present.

I've had ones with Baileys, quite a few actually, now they were real good, but you couldn't have too many of those before work, well i suppose you shouldn't anyway...

Who am I to judge!

I know i haven't had any problems with people being anything other than really sincere and genuine most of the time, welcoming and certainly up for a good time.

Any more than three Greeks in a room with coffee usually instigates discussions that could break records, and will often involve copius amounts of food and drink lasting for days...

Anyway, thats kept me concious for a bit longer, its time to do some 'work' based nonsense now i've had my minute or so.

One last ramble, thats another thing here. Greek time. Everyone goes on about Greenwich mean time, if we were all on Greek time there would be no problems, and certainly no wars. Fact.

Firstly the money would have been embezzled so no one could afford it.

A few would be argueing over who had embezzled it, that is all except the ones too busy drinking 'frappe' and playing Backgammon who couldn't give a damn.

Half the majority still wouldn't be awake and would miss it anyway, and just as many wouldn't have even finished partying by the time it begun anyway.

Anyone left, the stragglers, would be at the beach...

Problem solved, I thank you...

I've seen people drink coffee for an hour then spend three hours stood at the table saying goodbye to each other, then one got onto a Moped stood some ten feet away, and then it took one of them twenty minutes to get his helmet on as they chatted away.

I wanted to tie him to his Moped and ride him home myself just so they'd shut the f*ck up! It wasn't like they were quiet either, you know the sort that want to inflict their sense of 'how funny and cool they think they are' on you type.

If one of them had of been stood nearer the road i'd have been tempted to stuff him in the back of the garbage disposal van when it first went past... Ho Hum...Next time!

Other than that, its all good here so far. And i think its going to get better soon...

For once.

Goodbye for now whilst i go and inject caffeine into my eyeballs and glue a pack of cigarrettes together as i munch through a bowl of whisky soaked cornflakes.

Tooth ache...
17:12 on 07 October 2008

Only on thing to say on the subject really...

Arse!

It sucks, but not in a nice way!

Having a National Identity in Greece...
16:37 on 16 October 2008

So, my dilemma, here i was sat sitting with a guy who speaks Greek, (obviously), being in Greece, with a Greek guy, discussing the whole context of having a National Identity, and this, (if your Greek you'll know what I mean), but here I am, from the UK, Britain, England, whatever the hell its called these days...?, discussing the Name Greek/Greece, when its a name that was sort of imposed and used, rather than an identity that you had adopted and grown with.

Confused? - I was...

The perk of the day was that there was a sort of music fest broke out in the square in Exarhia, outside where i work. So, apart from being woken up at 8ish to the joyous sounds of the Sex Pistols and co blaring away over the din of the Builders next door and the Bin men outside, it was a good start to the day, then i arose, made a coffee and awaited the day to unfold. By now others had gathered at work and the music outside mellowed to a heavenly rapture of Shine on you crazy Diamond by the Floyd... Wow...

The Sun on the trees, 25 degrees, an nice gentle breeze blowing through the air, and now, with my coffee, Pink Floyd booming out, followed by, some, Led Zep, BB King etc...

And discussing the world... :D

So, we touched on the football, or rather lack of it, and the names of the Countries as we struggled to remember who'd played who when the Greek name came up. My friend, who shall remain nameless mentioned, in a (hang them all for still using it) kind of way, and told me the history of the name, which to those who don't know is very interesting.

Then he mentioned if i were British/UK or what. I couldn't answer at first, i didn't know what i wanted to say to be honest.

Don't get me wrong here- I'm proud as a person, glad of my upbringing, but i've never felt truly British, having lived abroad and having seen what a large portion of Brits do when they go abroad makes me shamefull of being known as British a large part of the time, and i always try and fit in, appreciate their cultures, enjoy their way of life and hospitality and to accommodate the changes with my arms open, rather than eating 'fish and chips' whilst moaning about the weather being too hot, and comparing everything to home.

I'm a believer in what our country has done at times, (very select times), and achieved, but i left their because it never did any good for me personally as i've grown.

As for when i was younger, I was just me, the same as everyone else. At school being in a Canadian school didn't make me see them as Canadians, they were just people who spoke funny... Still are but i love the language, and know that they say and do the same stupid things we do. Same in Belgium, and no disrespect, even more so...!

So, Identity... I knew it was there somewhere, so... Yes, erm, Being called Greece in itself is almost like a throwback to imperial rule and Turkish oppression, as to me Great Britain symbolises Victoria's rule and the old British Empire, Good and strong periods of History but ultimately bad for their occurrance on the whole.

I believe the name debate has been raging for years and probably will do so till it becomes the National Issue no more. To me personally visiting, and hoping to settle here it would be nice to have it revert to its true name as it seems more Romantic, and also ties in the history it has with the Country itself and where it came from, rather than a name that people have just become accustomed to using. Everywhere you look shows signs of Ancient life and beliefs, one of the best reasons for life here has to be the way you live.

My debate never ended, as you can only talk to yourself long after the other people have left, before people consider you mad... And so I sat, thinking, far more sane, just thinking the same things to yourself...

Thats not mad either...!

So, what is everyone, who are we? Where do we call ourselves from these days, are we Europeans, Citizens of 'x' regime, Partisans to this or that cause, or are we people, individuals, carving our own way through life and time...

Well, if life exists on other planets, one things for sure.

Your town name's going to be pretty irrelevant...!

Thought for the day...

Beer! :D

Tellas - Avoid them like the plague...!
18:07 on 03 November 2008

Its just a quick moan, any of you who know me may know that i have been waiting for over four months to have my phone and Internet connected.

Welcome to Greece, welcome to Tellas...

I won't say to much on the subject right now as i have to prepare myself for the verbal onslaught that will follow.

Stay tuned folks...!

Meanwhile, don't touch these useless idiots with a barge pole, they haven't a clue...

Sunday and Religion...
18:42 on 09 November 2008

Well, always a hot subject, one that mercilessly massacres people for the divine good of all those who don't follow it...

So, is it any good?

Well, having faith and having religion are two different things to me. Faith is one thing i personally feel we all have to have at some point, whether its for our health, our future, our outlook on life, or for during the dark times that cloud our lives.

We all need to be able to draw upon something deeper than common sense and emotional strength at times in our lives, and i should know having been through many a darkest hour myself.

Even the simplest things in life sometimes require faith, and at times we might not even recognise it for what it is, however the ever present and infinite strength we may think we have as people can often run dry.

Religion on the other hand is a deeply personal choice, something that is often passed down to us, or something that we discover as we grow older as life introduces us to experiences not of our choosing.

I was brought up in a fairly religious family. My grandparents had good reason to try and teach us a sense of worth and the values of their beliefs into us as to them, it was the right choice as we grew.

Knowing now what both of them had experienced during their lives, they had to rely upon more than just the obvious. They had both endured personal and emotional difficulties throughout their lives, experienced two world wars, and survived afterwards through some of the most extreme hardships. This was not only testament to their character, but to their attitude to life in general, and to the strengths that their parents had bestowed upon them.

They we're both good people who lived only as they wanted others to live by them. They helped where they could, took only what they needed, and shared what they could to those less fortunate. This however wasn't all due to religion. This was down to the individual.

The reason i felt i had to mention this today, is due to me reading an absolute classic headline in the news today.

"Priests brawl at Jerusalem Church"...

What a classic! Its funny now as it seems like a novel headline, however for centuries, the various churches and religions have been waging war on each other since the dawn of time...

We've been fortunate in our time not to have had the Spanish inquisition bearing down upon us, murdering all in its way for the sake of a Priest with a hangover. In some parts of the world though, a similar story has been unfolding and yet, we as people read about it in the news with a secure distance, a contentment in knowing that its not happening to us.

Its the 21 century and yet its still acceptable for people to rampage on about some holy ideal that they believe in. Its not right, and its not neccessarily wrong to believe in your individual beliefs, however if anyone believes in the divine right to kill in the name of religion, then they themselves have failed to actually see what it is they supposedly believe in.

Its now the day after the Bali bombers have rightly been executed, and the week after what is seen as the future of the world evolving due to the election of a Black president in the USA, possibly the most important, and hopefully positive time in America's history.

Whether an immediate impact will be felt has to be seen but either way, the removal of George "World War 3" Bush has to be a good thing for everyone in the universe, not just on the planet.

The arguements i kept hearing though were down to race, colour, religion and background etc...

Personally, Who the f*ck cares...

If he were Green, called Adolf and believed in scientology i couldn't care less, as long as he believed in democracy, fairness and the future of the planet and the people, then i'll be happy.

What he says at night to the skies is quite frankly the least of my worries...

The people i have seen and met in my travels all have one thing in common, they are human, they are individuals, and they are no better or no worse than me. Life may have unbalanced the harmony in their lives to make them different to you or me, but they are never the less, people.

These people, all have in common with me the divine right to live a good life. Religion has no place in dictating or defining people, and what they are, but even more than that, it doesn't have the right to interfere with other peoples rights and beliefs, whatever you race, colour and creed. Its there to help, apparently.

People have had different views on it over the years, the Romans, the Vikings, and the Nazi's maybe have all interpreted it in maybe a somewhat, shall we say (flippant) way, and yet their impact has carved up the lives of all who were unfortunate enough to be around during their reign.

In my time i have read about Muslims being denied the right to co-exsist with their beliefs in the western world, westerners being denied the right to show or express their rights for fear of upsetting others and their beliefs, people as we know being killed wholesale in the name of some God or whatever, and yet the same goes on again and again.

Even whilst writing this, someone somewhere will have been killed because someone believed a higher entity told them to do it.

This isn't religion, its called being Crazy. The same crazy that has killed people for centuries.

The very essence of a religion is supposedly to promote peace and harmony, better understanding and definition as individuals, this nutured with the respect of others and all who co-exsist in the world, surely should make the world a better place, not the place it has been and probably will be if we as a collective don't do something to change the way things are now.

I believe everyone has a right to believe in what they choose, how they practice this and what they believe in though has to be right to start with.

Here in Greece i sit on the bus and often watch people exert their religion in public when they pass churches. This isn't wrong, however the reasons why many feel they have to show off their chosen faith is often wrong and this happens world wide.

I often have to smile to myself as many a devout believer stares down their nose at me, feeling that they are a higher entity as they go about their business. This is usually the same devout entity though that i'm sure has probably committed adultery, who rarely practices what they preach, and who by their very attitudes have already failed in the knowledge that they themselves were once taught.

This applies to many of so called believers of so many different faiths. To me the true holy person has time and compassion for all, with no discrimination what so ever and doesn't feel the need to force it upon others as they themselves deeply know this isn't what they were taught to do.

The fact that Priests were fighting is nothing new, the joke to me was the so called religion they were trying augment on everyone else who had a different opinion.

I leave you to your sundays now, to do whatever it is you choose to do, and have a good week...

God permitting, as they say... Or maybe without God, whatever your choice, either way, good fortune upon us all...

:D

Greek women... I had to at some point risk everything...!
22:37 on 10 November 2008

Hmmm, so...I've been desperately trying to get out of having to write about this since i have been here, however as each new day goes by i feel compelled more and more to have to say at least a little something about the subject of Greek women... :D

Firstly...

Covering message to people everywhere...

This by no means is anything other than observational and based on what i have spoken to people about and seen, so to minimalise the risk of incurring the rath of men and women everywhere, i apologise in advance if any take it the wrong way...however i'm foolhardy, or foolish, one of the two and had to make comment, as it is my duty to people everywhere who expect me to make a fool out of myself at some point anyway...

So , here goes... :D

So, i'm a reasonably normal, healthy, voracious male with a perfectly normal level of sexual attraction in the female species, spoilt in my observations here however, and still tongue tied for the beauty that surrounds me on a daily basis.

I've been to a few countries before and seen what i consider some stunningly beautiful women in my time, but none more so than here in Greece.

I have been here nearly eight months now and I fall in love a ten times a day, at least, and that's before i even get on the bus to work. I have been fortunate enough to get to know quite a few who have befriended me since i arrived here, and to be honest, their beauty scares me silly. Its rare i'm lost for words, but there's been many a time where i've been tongue tied and unable to even think straight let alone think of any of the obscene thoughts that would run riot under normal conditions.

I'm not normally the 'chat' women up type to be honest, I tend to usually just meet someone and there's just a chemistry that pulls us together, or after a while they see my hidden beauty, and it takes awhile too as its well hidden, either way though, i seem to have landed in my wildest dreams!

There's beautiful women worldwide no doubt, however its a rare experience in my lifetime certainly to be able to go from shop to shop, to walk to work, catch a bus or to simply look out across from where i work and see true visions of heaven everywhere.

There hasn't been a day since i've been here that you don't see a women that you would truly die for, or you'd die trying for... And that's just in Athens itself. I haven't even been able to see any of the islands really yet, (apart from Crete years ago), and that was different because my Girlfriend of the time was with me. She was truly beautiful anyway and i came on holiday with her thinking that all the men would be fighting over her, or should i say, i thought i'd be fighting all the men. Fortunately i was the only blonde haired guy we saw on our travels and the women seemed to take more of an interest in me than the men did in her which was fortunate for me, but certainly not expected at the time...Strangely enough, so did many of the men, but hey, this is Greece after all...!

Either way, there was many a beautiful woman that i could have gotten into trouble over whilst on holiday, and many that would have even convinced my Girlfriend to challenge the norm, and to be fair they were always Greek, the rest sadly were the depraved, typically drunken women that the UK lets out of ugly school once a year in the summer months and sends to the rest of the sane world to make them appreciate what we have to deal with day in day out...

When you think about it, Its no wonder British people are so miserable...Sod the weather, you don't end up with that in your bed...!

And not just the men, the typical fat ugly Bricklayer with his hairy arse hanging out must fill young women everywhere full of confidence too, i'm just saying that our gems are still being mined, where as in other parts of the world they have been showing them for a lot longer.

I'm not saying there aren't any gorgeous British women as there are, its just they are either all married or in relationships, which is rightly so, or, well, if i knew where i'd still be there maybe. Also many people i know wouldn't be settling down with the old trouts and cheap slappers that roam the clubs devoid of morals and manners...

So far here I haven't seen many teenage women with two or three kids abandoning them at their mothers before going out to purposely get wasted and have sex with any old moron like they do in Britain, maybe this is why they seem so much more attractive, who knows. There's something about a cheap slapper geared up in the latest chav wear, who can't speak properly, who texts with an abomination of english and p*ss poor education that, call me old fashioned or just picky, just doesn't turn me on.

There's many bad things about Greek women that i'm sure i could learn to live with, yet their upbringing and society has left them largely unspoilt to the ways of the western drinking culture that i know and hate and that moulds our stereo typical brand of beer tart.

I see so many truly beautiful single Greek women that it could drive you crazy if you really thought about it.

Subsequently it has, and i often do...

Part of the problem as many tell me is that many of the men have an arrogance that stems from a cultural upbringing, bad habits, and being nurtured by their mothers to the tender age of 40+.

In the uk we have this problem too, it called being a mummy's boy and to be fair its never a good pulling point when trying to impress a woman. Having to ruin a day you planned with your girlfriend because your mum wants to see you isn't cool, neither is having the phone ringing all night when your trying to spend some quality time together and your mum hasn't been able to say good night and see when you'll be back.

Sure it's great to love your mum, everyone should, but for her to dictate your life, change your clothes and decide upon your fortune is where many may go wrong, i've seen this in so many i've spoken too.

Not in all, and i'm hardly going to say British men are the greatest either as we must surely hold the record for divorce, causing trouble and p*ssing people off worldwide. Fact! As a nation we're almost as proud of it as Greeks are that nothing works.

Plus there's the whole beads issue thing going on... What the f*ck's that all about... I've spoken to a few men who seem content trying to make themselves look cool by spinning the damn things all day long, in front of your face, bouncing them of tables, chairs and anything else in reach. Firstly if you didn't know, Its f*cking annoying as hell for one, and if nothing else, it really does make you look like a childish retard who needs telling off.

I'm a bit of a musician myself and i know that if i sat tapping the table all day long i'd look a prick too...In private, cool, it may be therapeutic for all i care but unsurprisingly, women don't seem to find it attractive and most others look at you like you should really leave the room, apart from maybe other bead swinging people, in which case you should maybe form a club and f*ck off somewhere private to do it where it doesn't p*ss most people off.

I'm not saying all Greek men are bad by any stretch, but society and the way the country has been evolving still has many harsh and chauvinistic tendencies that appear to deter Greek women. Correct me please if i'm wrong, but this is what i've been told by many recently anyway.

Also the fact that so many men here are gay, bisexual, or to be fair so pretty that you can't tell, also has an effect. Many women work on the fact that if a guy spends all his time on looking so damn perfect, having the shiniest car, the best gadgets and working out all of the time, then to be fair he's probably only interested in having a relationship with himself anyway.

This is universal though, not just in Greece, it happens everywhere.

Sure its great to look and feel good but there's a limit to becoming self obsessed and vain beyond the healthy levels required to embark upon a relationship with anyone other than yourself.

Personally speaking too, if i was a woman in Greece and seeing the copious amounts of simply divine women everywhere then i'd be more of a lesbian than i am anyway. So this i think these afore mentioned reasons make it easier to relate to why so many of the women here are single...

The same applies to the men too though, if i were ever to become gay, then there is only one place for it, Greece. Good looking men are ripe too, the country is full of forbidden fruit ripe for picking, and there's an abundance to suit everyone's tastes on every tree.

There's a lot to say for Greek men that is good too, i'm not trying to bad mouth Greek men here, this is just what i have seen and heard , but to be fair i don't care about that at this stage as i fancy women. I'll highlight the beauty of Greek men soon enough i'm sure as they have much to offer the world but for now, roll with me, its about the ladies...

So, what are they like other than beautiful...? Well, from what i have seen and heard they are like women everywhere...

MENTAL! - But of course in a nice, friendly, set their mother onto you kind of way. And thats not to be taken lightly either, they are old school, it wasn't the Greek army that deterred Hitler and the Turks i can tell you, it was the Greek mothers chasing them the hell out... They are akin to my dear nan, bless her, mess with her and then quite frankly you had to leave the country, no other option was available for your own safety.

In the UK we tend to look at the mother and see what the future's got in store for our nearest and dearest, here the mother is going to be with you for the future anyway, regardless. They take on the role of friend, confidant, sister, advisor and gestapo all rolled into one. They have an almost symbionic relationship with their daughters which you have to adapt to, and don't be surprised if they accompany you on your honeymoon and sneak into bed with you if you try and get too involved.

Many i know feel it normal to have their mothers call them over ten times a day to see whats happening, and thats before they leave the house.

This however has yet to deter me from trying to understand them any less though. My quest for knowledge I feel, may get me into trouble and incur the rath of maybe a mother here and there, however i will endeavour to try understand and appreciate them more n the line of duty.

Part two to follow one day maybe...

:D

One man Riot...
13:14 on 17 November 2008

Well, its that time of year when Athens suddenly becomes ablaze again... Well, from what i know, Exarhia does anyway, more than usual.

Apparently the students riot everywhere for some reason one i'm hopeful to discover soon, explanations greatly recieved so i can hopefully understand and work out why students and anarchists can get away with tearing a part of a city apart every year, still.

Somehow the fact that students can actually be bothered to get up and riot is impressive anyway. This suggests to me that they are far more versatile than our UK counterparts. A typical British student wouldn't be able to make it to a riot if their course depended upon it.

Plus the organisational skills required to arrange for more than one student to partake would require the same logistical force employed by the US in Iraq.

To be fair it just wouldn't happen...

Years ago it was common practice to Riot in the UK, but since the government has sucked the life out of our country we as people daren't riot anymore for fear of reprisals on a legal scale. We've become so politically correct, or incorrect depending upon your view its scary.

We'd be sue'd for upsetting those who didn't riot, arrested for speaking our mind, even if the demonstration was peaceful. It seems far more acceptable to preach hate on the streets of Britain these days than to be able to voice your concern on how badly the country has become.

The closest we had to recent riots was over the fuel protests some years back now. That was a none starter as no one could either afford to get there, or transport was so bad anyway, services would have driven you crazy and you wouldn't have made it past the end of your street at best.

We used to be world leaders in rioting, another export we failed to capitalise on...Now we watch with a sense of wonder and awe as people choose to vent their fury over a common cause. Here in Greece today, as previously mentioned i don't really know why or care, however i'm just impressed that the people are motivated enough to make a stand, rightly or wrongly.

I'm sure that if on my travels to work tomorrow i see the possible destruction left over as a result of todays actions i won't be as impressed, and as i've been informed, it can often be quite bad, looting, things being set on fire plus the personal destruction of many peoples properties and items is never acceptable, however, its still nice to know that in the year 2008, Greece loosely abides by its own laws...

Hmmm... Laws...

I do believe they have them here, they have courts and Police and magistrates, and yet they never seem to enforce anything that needs enforcing.

I saw for the first time two weeks back, the Police Tear gassing tramps and homeless and the rest of societies unlucky ones, only to then beat them all up with their batons and then arrest them... It would be funny in a film but its the 21 century, this shouldn't really happen in the world should it?

Having seen it first hand it shocked me, not to mentioned made my eyes stream as the gas was everywhere, burning your eyes and nostrils as you stuggled to focus on the carnage as the protectors of society carried out their jobs with a fury...

So, today, what will happen i don't really know yet but i feel the desperate urge to join in, to be a part of the chaos that i stride though everyday in Exarhia, i feel that i need too to become a true part of society. Its like being a citizen here requires it of me...

To become a true citizen of Greece may require such sacrifices at some point...

To be fair, seeing how the country works, (and i use the term 'works' loosely), the arrogance of the people who know and who fail to make things work properly may drive me to riot soon anyway...

Tellas watch out...

:D

Back shortly...
15:17 on 15 December 2008

Well, just returned to the chaos of Exarhia for work having recently been back to the UK, or as like to call it, YUK and will be adding a few posts shortly as life has inevitably been worthy of comment and mention in so many ways lately.

I will refrain from voicing my anger and frustration at the bad that has happened and will be rejoicing with the good that has happened once i know i can get home and recover.

Having said that, the masses are gathering, screaming and shouting is beginning in earnest so i shall make like a fart and disappear like the wind...

Toodles for now, back tomorrow...

;D

So its that time of year again...
15:07 on 23 December 2008

You guessed it, the time to be suckered into buying things you hate, wouldn't dare be seen dead with or in, and secretly delight in giving to others...

Its another Christmas, where we celebrate the big red health risk, lets face it, an old man dressed in all dashing, all red Super outfit, climbs down your chimney after riding a sledge for miles...

Well for a start, one day someone's going to find a dead man in their front room having had one mince pie to many...! Plus at his age, he can't go on forever, there's no way. Its physics, the law, call it whatever, it ain't going to happen.

Plus there's the modern day bureaucratic nightmare to deal with... Insurance, Eu paperwork, crossing borders, passport control and the fact that everywhere will be shut for the holidays, (except where strikes are likely) or spontanious riots break out, then all's going to be well...

So, what is xmas, is it about Santa - Father Christmas, is it religious celebration, is it a feel good factor that we try to embrace for when times are cold, is it a marketing killing spree for the capitalist machine, or is it the birth of a child from a virgin mother...

Mmmm, well call me a cynic, but i don't believe in Santa Claus anymore. The rest's Plausable, well, except for the virgin child bit. Nice touch, but i've been kind of brought up on science and fact... You know, 1 + 1 = 2, the sky is up, things drop, gravity, and somehow i know how to spot a flaw in a story... Do you see it...

You see what has slightly prompted this is that i've just read an article on how some people would like to see Creationism taught in schools, hmmm, i know, along with the Solar powered Torch, its not the best idea ever to me...

But hey, thats just my opinion...

I was brought up in a Roman Catholic environment, I never minded, I can't say it did me no harm, and fortunately I can't remember too many embarrassing episodes involving me as i was young at the time, as i got older i stepped away from religion as a name, and have my own sort of feelings and beliefs about my outer awareness and such matters. Its not for me to preach or argue that what i feel and believe is right nor wrong as its just my way of life, my experiences with the things that have gotten me to this stage in my life, nothing else, no book, holiday, preacher or teacher could have influenced this.

However, i do like xmas! If for nothing else other than having time to relax and take stock of life and everything thing else, its sweet to eat, get drunk, battered and as mashed as humanely possible knowing that everyone else is probably just as mashed, relaxed, stuffed or whatever your vice is, as you...

So in reflection, whether you believe in Santa, E.T, or the Marshmellow man, and whatever your age, religion, colour or creed, have a great and happy Xmas, and an awfully drunken new year from me...

Regardless of the reason's why...

To all the people i know and to all the new friends and people i've met since i've been here in Greece,

F*ck off... Oops, wrong one, (thats for my letter to both UK and Greek Embassies complaining about how thick and acknowledgeable they are on their own laws concerning animal movement...)

- Merry Xmas and a Happy new Year...

- χρονια πολλα...

x x x

Wahoo-dee-hoo-dly doooo
15:16 on 15 January 2009

Well, its that time again, more sacred than xmas itself, more revered than santa riding the devil bareback across a dark velvet chocolate pasture...

You may know the feeling too...

Pay day... Time to celebrate surving to the point where you've eaten the house long clean of really edible food and to where by the empty tin of sweetcorn reminds you of luxuries gone by. The days when pasta was an option, whereby the last bit of meat you saw was walking down the street and had a tail.

I've eaten since, we had a souvlaki at work yesterday night before nipping out for the ever fatal one drink, this lasted till 2:30 in the morning, sadly all the food places had already shut as there may have been riots again, the lack of such shops could have prompted me to create a one man riot, however i fear this would have fallen on deaf ears, so when i got home i couldn't rest for the grumblings going on in the empty thing i called my stomach. So I put on some music and sat menacingly coaxing a baileys hoping for the local mongrel dog to pass by so i could at least ponder over how hungry i was...

So xmas, now you can finally give your hard earn money to everyone else you owe for one day of grotesque over indulgence you've hopefully been lucky to recover from... Well, what the hell, beats having to be nice to people you don't really know or like for the rest of the year...lol

Well i had the best time anyway as i finally, after living like a crack head for 5 months in a barren house with my own madness to keep me company managed to get most of my stuff over from the UK, prior to this wasn't a good thing.

Its one thing to talk to your self but when your sat watching the microwave for excitement you know you've got issues to get over. Even the spiders had moved out.

Fortunately the birds in the garden know me well enough by now, and don't stare pitifully at me as i sit talking to the lumps of rock that look unusually unusual.

Now i have all the mods cons again, i have TV and can watch Greek TV now... Wahoo... Lucky me.

So as you may have guessed, now i have time on my hands and use the TV for either games or gathering dust, and now i have all my clutter its brilliant...!

I have things i didn't even know i had, things i certainly can't remember how to use and other things that i now have to buy a million batteries for, no rude comments there, pleeeease!

Remotes, remotes for remotes, remotes you can programme, for what for gods sake! Today i'll make this remote do the garden... F*cking unlikely so why the lie...Thats what i want to know! - Marketing spin, probably why i bought it, lured in with its charming sales pitch about how you can control your woman with it, then you get home and still can't get it to work on them...! What's that all about?

So, now i have madness on a scale i'm comfortable with, things to loose and misplace and wonder if i left them on when i'm on the train miles away...

Hmmm, i wonder if i left the cooker on, fortunately till now, i know i haven't, I haven't had any f*cking food for a start... Rice and pasta surprise doesn't count, and the surprise being that i had no rice or pasta...! So luckily i was safe with that.

I haven't got an ironing board yet, so i have a nightmare ironing on the table anyway so i know i always have to put that away, and i figure there's no need to get an ironing board yet as the next lucky woman should hopefulyy come with one anyway... lol, just a joke for you psycho little female activists...But they do don't they...?

But seriously, i'll export the ironing to some lucky woman in due course anyway so thats not an issue, and the rest of my stuff i haven't fully worked out what and where to put it so no panic.

I had a great time at xmas and saw a load of my friends and my mum back in the uk, and had a great party at mine when i got back, new year was a hoot, and it gets better everytime someone else tells me what the hell i was doing and here we are, ready to relax and unwind with the biggest pizza ever and as much cherryade as i can get down me shortly...

Wahoo...Made it!

Start preparing for next year now...

NOT!

Time to get geared up for the best year ever, or else... :D

A Taxi a fight, nearly getting run over and nearly arrested for the priveledge... Welcome to Greece!
17:30 on 20 February 2009

So, my thursday was en eventful one... After two months trying to get paid from work, i finally managed to get half my money from my favorite boss, lol... Its amazing what the threat of legal action does to a guy who's already facing an audit and being sued by just about everyone possible. So, anyway, i managed to get dragged into my favorite bar for a few before making my way to a friends for some crazy Greek eating meat celebration, to me not being able to eat properly for two months due to surviving on fresh air, eating meat is always a celebration, even more so now, so, on my way i did the usual and got a taxi, this is where my tale starts...

So, i jumped into a taxi after walking half the way due to the transport being a problem as the buses were on Strike or something yesterday, and i figured if i were to make it any where i would need one of Greece's trusty Taxi's to get me there.

My taxi driver seemed ok, there was another woman in the taxi anyway (as is the norm here in Greece to share a taxi), and fortunately she was on her way to Galatsi anyway, so all good so far. The meter was quite high but i didn't really pay much attention as i normally only get charged about three or four euro's to get where i go anyway, fortunately i was going to a friends house anyway which is just slightly further down the road and fortunately for me, near the local police station.

As we got nearer my destination the driver seemed quite merry in himself and i again thought nothing of it.

Traffic was still bad and he managed to pull over opposite the Police station to reveal that the paltry ten minute trip was to cost me 9 euro's... I laughed and told him to pull the other one, at this he got abusive and (fortunately for me not speaking so much Greek), I told him to hang fire for two minutes while i called my friend who would enquire as to what the f*ck he'd really expect to get from this...

He said a number of suggestions which were all met with the fact that I've been taking this route for nine months now and even when traffic is at its worst, its never cost more than 5 euro's, usually even with a tip.

The only tip this twat got was to provide good lube if he was going to try and f*ck me, something that his english did enable him to grasp. I then proceeded to try and take his taxi number down whereby he tried to attack me, laughably we sat tussling in the taxi before i thouht its easier to just get out and take a picture of his registration number, he then proceeded to try and run me over in front of the Police station, something that in other countries would be seen as serious, but alas not here in Greece, so I shouted the Police officer who was idly stood watching the whole incident, he slowly begun to walk over with two other officers who had curiously assembled themselves along the roadside.

The Taxi driver then got out and tried to attack me again, whereby we exchanged pleasantries and he was quickly reminded that the further pursuit of trying to rob me would resort to pain and probably him loosing his badge and his testicles should he carry on in this manner, as the Police arrived they quickly got us both into the station whereby he then started shouting insults and suchlike before the Station officer quickly told me to sit down and shut up, despite me having sood there in silence, i now stood there laughing openly at this prick and not saying a word, as humour and a good smug smile always push people over the edge if you play them right...Again, i was warned for recieving abuse, had i carried on recieving abuse i dread to think what would have happened, so go figure...

I called my friend who came to bear witness to this joke of a situation and who would assist me in staying out of Prison for nearly being robbed, attacked and then ran over...

As time went on it was clear to myself and the Police that this idiot had been drinking and when i requested that he be breathalised, the Police said that sadly they didn't have the capabilities in the Station... What the f*ck...

So in this country, who may i ask does breathalise people...The Church? The main question now is apart from beating people, and shooting, pepper spraying anyone they like and giving tear gas about like christmas presents, what do the Police actually do here...

I managed to be held for nearly an hour before the madness came to a sad and pointless end, the Police released him and despite my stark disbelief of the whole situation, despite my questioning of events, the Police who reluctantly let me go without charge. To concur they were the most unhelpful, ignorant clueless people you could ever want to call when you needed someone to supposedly act on behalf of the common person, the innocent and those who i thought were there to be protected...

The only officer who wasn't hell bent on trying to lock me up for life was the one who'd witnessed the whole event, and he said he couldn't remember the whole incident anyway, despite it happening in front of him and no more than an hour away!

It turns out i can sue the prick on Monday when the Police have done whatever it is they need three days to do nothing about, and apart from being late, recieving a nasty bruise and sctratch on my arm, i managed to witness the true sadness which is the state of the system here in Greece.

Fortunately myself and several colleagues are already in the motions of setting up a Human rights campaign here anyway and that will aim at corruption and civil rights, helping people who need advice and many other aspects within Greek society and the mediteranean areas. Thankfully inspired by my involvement in ACTUP which opened up the door on how badly people can and expect to be able to behave, however its only when you find yourself in a small and insignificant situation that you realise just how impossible it is to get help and justice here in Greece. God help those here who have no rights and seek some semblance of a normal life.

So, its not about the money, I'd just been paid and to be honest, 9 euro's is the kind of money i'm glad to spend on a taxi having come from the UK, however having just had to threaten my boss with legal action again to get money owed to me after living a miserable exsistance since i arrived here anyway, i'm just sick of people screwing me about. Next time a taxi driver tries something like that they will be dropping me off in a dark secluded alleyway, whereby they'll get a good look at the underside of their own car after i've cashed the cheque their lousy ass can't pay...

Lesson to self, and everyone else maybe reading this, take no sh*t in life, and if someone f*cks you about, f*ck them harder...longer and meaner.

They won't do it again.

OTE...The saga continues...
18:02 on 25 February 2009

So, after five months and no end result with Tellasholes, no apology for offering a service then doing nothing, never getting in touch or a god damned word, i resort to OTE.

So far so good, i order the package, get an appointment for installation whereby an engineer turns up, opens a small phone packet containing my wall mounting, throws the wrapper on the floor, wires up the box, throws that on the floor and then leaves...

Service with a smile, always a good sign. Now forgive me for sounding negative, its only been nine months of me trying to get a phone in the 21st century, hardly re-inventing the wheel, but somehow i had doubts about it working when i first saw him do his job...Or at least turn up anyway.

So, maybe i'm used to a slightly higher of service, maybe i expect someone who comes to do a job, someone who actually knows what to do, and maybe expecting it to work afterwards is me being say, a little pedantic however the fun never stops...

My first observation was the overall lack of respect for the job, i mean, if he was a phone engineer and i was asking him to install a water boiler then i'd understand, but hey, anyway, he came, he f*cked the job up and he left, to say he was happy would be like saying Jesus was glad they used nails rather than screws. SO, apart from the general lack of care, the wall mounting i noticed immediately had a broken wire sticking out of the box, something that hey, may have an impact on proceedings, just a guess.

So, as he'd wired it where i didn't want it and couldn't do anything else short term, as it was not his job (as i was informed), so i couldn't plug the phone charger thing in to test my phone immediately, i then proceeded to get my intenet modem thing and suprise suprise, that didn't work either... After now two days trying to test it to get a signal, i'm far from happy, after calling technical services, they are now doing a routine test.

I've already done that, guess what, its f*cked. Doesn't work, no ringing, no dialling, no internot, and no f*cking surprise... Its not hard to know when your phone isn't working, there's certain obvious aspects of the problem well before technical staff get involved!

Now i wait again. . .

Apparently when i've been here five years i can become a citizen, maybe then will i be able to get a phone line that works and internet in my house... Till then expect more news on the greatness that is OTE.

Day one after reporting the problem and being told someone would be around and or would call to fix the problem,end result :

- F*ck all...

If you feel down, then this is my story, though it's still now unfinished, i'm glad...
23:27 on 28 February 2009

Here's my story. A year ago i was in a very dark place mentally, i had been screwed over by yet another client and was about to loose my house and all i had, i had nothing left and debts piling up everywhere, i waited for death like a saviour and couldn't focus on anythiing other than the pain and misery which i courted like a friend.

Sometimes we cling to the despair as its what we are familiar with, other times we have no choice and it over runs into every aspect of what we do.

I wrote a note for the people i wanted to say so much to hoping they would forgive me for what i had become and for the choices i had made, fortunately i managed to see my life for what it was rather than for what it had become, and by the end i had changed.

I hope this helps others realise that sometimes we all loose sight of how we cope, but thats because we only fail to see what we are.

Failure isn't anything other than conditions being wrong at the time, not the person, the place, the issues surrounding us, it just wasn't meant to be at that time in life, there will always be another time for it to work.

This is why i try and help people and want to give something back...

This wasn't easy and still isnt easy for me to live with as with so many other times in my life, but i'm trying. For those who know me well, please forgive me.

Now my life is good, this was then, now i'm just crazy but ok...


Written 2006/7 :

"Sorry for just being me…

I just want to say sorry to everyone who cared for me when I was in a better state of mind than I have been lately. I’ve watched myself slip from someone who used to know happiness, and normality to someone who wasn’t me, a shadow of the person I used to be, someone who gave up rather than fought, someone who lost all desire for life and who was overcome with anger and resentment. I have had to analyse every aspect of myself and why I am what I am to become a better person and to hopefully pick myself up from where I am now. I have had to slip into the realms of a tortured person in able to find myself and to hopefully make sense of what has become of my life. Where it went wrong, where I changed as a person to where I lost all reason for life and love and found anger and despair instead.

I can only apologise for how I’ve become, I never intended to have to live like this and become who I have, but I have. I have become who I am because I feel I was just never meant for this time and place in life, I can blame many things but I blame myself the most for being weak when others wanted me to be strong. I still search for a reason for what my role in life actually is. I look for a point to my existence and the harder I look the less obvious it becomes. I‘ve spent so much of my life wanting to die that the pain of waiting to die is torturing me. It seems like I’ll live forever just to spite myself and to make everyone suffer as I do, but this is not what I want, I have a purpose I just fail to see it or maybe my time hasn’t come just yet and that we all feel this way.

As for suicide, some say its a cowards way out, or is it… Is it not the last chance of denying destiny its final hand…? Who knows, I know I’m not the only one I know who has felt this low at various times in their life. Many of the people I know are like myself carrying the scars of a troubled existence, whether it be a failed love, a troubled life, financial despair or just the demons from a life playing out their sick games, either way we all succumb to despair at some point its how we deal with it that matters. I let myself down many years ago now and wanted nothing more than to rid myself of this mortal world, the desire was like a magnet as it still is now, teasing me, tempting me whenever things get difficult and leaving you full of anger and misery and yearning for a way out. I can only compare it to a drug addiction, it’s a selfless act, some would say sick, but why, is the though of living out the rest of your life in misery or pain, with hate or disease eating you away such a sin, or even a crime I think not. Everyone has their reasons in life for feeling this way, I succumbed to weakness several years ago, and I believe fate had a hand in keeping me here both times. I still wonder why I had to experience such feelings to live longer and feel more pain but in a strange way I still hope for better things, even when my world is in freefall as it is now.

I’ve lived the last I don’t know how many years as a stranger to my friends and family, feeling like an outcast which I know is probably of my own making, lost and alone, yet surrounded by people who I believe care, I either didn’t see it, can’t see it or am blinded by my insecurities and the despair of how things have become within myself, simply foolish in thinking humanity was as good as I always hoped it to be.

I’m writing this as an alternative, my last plea to the world to say that I’m sorry and that I wanted desperately to have a good life, a chance of happiness and a way of living as I once used to, with the innocence and passion I used to have, and with the love and compassion I once felt, feelings that have escaped me for so long now. I know not why but I’ve let myself down, and probably many others too… and for this I’m sorry. I’m not proud of wanting to have ended my life but you truly find yourself when you stare into the abyss. Surviving is difficult, if your fortunate you have people that rally around you, get help and slowly bring yourself out of the situation your in. Or there’s my way, discharge yourself from hospital only to become an outcast by everyone you know, turn to drink and drugs to null the pain and slowly hope everything will get better. I wouldn’t recommend my way personally, I’d like to say it worked for me but here I am again several years later wishing my life away once more, desperat ly trying to see a light at the end of the tunnel when I’m clearly in the wrong carriage,in the wrong train going the wrong way down the tracks to a place that wont let me in anyway.

Its New years day, 2008, my girlfriend and saviour split with me four days ago through me just wanting to spend some time with her over the Christmas period, I got served eviction and my final legal day of residence was technically Christmas day 2007, my last two clients have been great, one owes me two thousand five hundred pounds which caused me my eviction and the other turned out to be a crack head who has threatened me at several occasions and attacked me for asking for payment despite being owed £300 and now a new coat, my car I had to sell for £50 as I couldn’t afford to put it through its MOT through circumstances and I needed to eat, I haven’t been able to afford to install a landline since moving in so my current work has suffered not to mention my relationship and personal life, I have no aerial so I haven’t been able to watch TV or relax and watch anything except my own miserable existence dwindle away since I’ve moved here, I have two beautiful Cats which are the reason why I’m still here, but one of which has been severely ill all year and due to my financial situation I haven’t been able to look after her with the treatment she deserves, so that makes me feel just fucking great as a person. My last proper meal was on Boxing day, some seven days ago, since then I’ve had a tin of tomato soup with some pasta in it, my beloved family sent me £30 which has prolonged my life by another week and got me a supply of Cat food, two tins of Chicken soup, eaten also with the remainder of my pasta, a discount cadbury’s flake which was on offer due to the date on it, I bought 20 fags which lasted the whole week, a £10 phone credit which I wasted trying to sort out my relationship with and I now have £1.24 credit left, I have 74p in coppers left, one tin of spaghetti and one tin of Cat food left, I owe money to just about every authority or appliance company in the UK who are all threatening legal action, due to again, me wanting to be self employed and work for people who by and large treat you like scum and never pay, threaten you or take the piss, I can’t sign on as I owe the Tax man through being screwed over, but luckily I have my health.

Suddenly death seems like a holiday, its easy to find yourself in these situations and I’m just fortunate I have no kids, my Cats are as good as family and they can be a bit of a bind at times, I love them deeply but were it not for them I certainly wouldn’t be here now. My first thought when I previously tried to take my life was for my cat Smudge, my old faithful companion who came and sat on my lap and just looked at me with complete despair as I felt my life start to slip away, his eyes cut through me and will live with me for ever, and he sits with me now as I type this, he knows I’m at a similar place, its almost as if he knows when I’m dying inside and wants to help.

My saving grace had been my thick blood, I don’t think I could bleed to death if I had to and as luck had it I hadn’t lost that much through its reluctance to leave my stubborn body, I must have Scottish blood as even nurses when I have to have blood tests etc struggle to get any out without a fight.

I ask for neither sympathy nor pity, just that you understand why I am who I am and why I have been as I have been lately. It fills me with no pride feeling as I do and being as I have been lately but I do know that I’m lucky, lucky to have had another chance when so many have none. Even now when I feel this low I can still appreciate how many good things there really are in my life, and how many good times there are hopefully to be had by myself, and those who care about me.

Sadly I can’t be around to share them with you as I have to do what I have to do to try and cope with this last and most recent period of my life. I would ask of you to thank everyone who I leave behind for me as I have no longer the strength to face people anymore. To your friends and family who have been like a step family to me during the last few months of life, especially as Christmas loomed and the thought of that on my own was bearing down on me like a mountain, something that without your love and the love of those around me would have destroyed me by now. Its only since becoming single again at this turbulent stage of my life whereby I’ve been able to understand myself fully and survive when I truly wanted to die. Another part of me has died and with this depression hanging over me I can only thank you for lifting my spirits to a level whereby I can tolerate myself once again and see a future with me in it where before I would have seen none.

I wish I could stay friends and see you again when times are better for us all but I am burning my bridges and choosing to effectively kill off this ragged shell of a person in order to hope that a beautiful butterfly emerges from this carcass of a person you saw before you lately. Please don’t hate me…

Its time for me to move on, from not only this place, but also this state of mind as well, and to rid myself of these feelings once again. If I can be strong enough to survive this latest chapter of my life then I know I’m capable of withstanding everything but a direct hit from a nuclear missile, and the rest will be easy. I’m often told that I’m a strong person emotionally but I fail to see it, but then many of the people I know have had somewhat easier lives or have handled things better than I. I can’t criticise anyone other than myself and only wished for a better chance than what I’ve had but as an old friend once told me, you have to make your own luck and maybe I haven’t done that yet.

Music has always been a part of my life, and anyone who knows me well enough knows that words and music are often a great healer or they can be like a knife through your heart, depending upon your state of being. For me everything right now it reminds me of how painfully sad my life has been, something I look back on with no regrets but with great sadness and a sense of bewilderment, was I to blame for everything that has gone wrong in my life, I don’t know, but I do know that I haven’t coped with it particularly well. Who often does, or even knows if they have, all I know is that the state I’m in right now suggests that I haven’t coped very well at all.

In this world, I consider myself a fairly good person, kind, caring, compassionate and passionate about the things that matter to me, as well as to the people whom I’ve come to know. I’ve always tried my best to help people whenever I can, and spare them the time as have many who’ve helped me, so please don’t think ill of me when I’m gone. Its something I’ve had to do to hopefully find myself again and to rebuild this shattered existence of mine.

I can only wish that you’ll maybe understand me a little more, but appreciate that you never had the chance to know me as I hoped you could due to myself and my recent circumstances, events that have nearly destroyed me once again. I hope that one day we meet again and that you’ll see the real me the me that I know is a much better person, and realise that I am not all bad.

This following poem/lyric was written when I felt at my lowest some years ago and again struggles to do justice to the pain I was feeling at the time having lost both my Grandparents, my job and life was being particularly cruel. Fortunately I survived and have slowly fought an uphill battle to banish my demons from that part of my life. Since then I find myself in a worse place, having been finally able to accept the death of my grandparents but unable to live with myself and my life so far. I would like to thank all of those people who made my life somewhat more acceptable and normal when I first moved here, amongst the masses there are some special people who make you appreciate the human spirit once in a while, not many but a few who all know who they are.

“When there’s nowhere left to hide,
When there’s no where left to turn,
When the fear of life has ebbed,
When there’s nothing to be said…
Deep inside I rejoice,
But I only hear one voice,
So low, I know fear like a friend,
Fear of life, fear of joy, fear of all but the very end…

Now hate fills my soul,
And pain consumes my life,
Anger racks this mortal shell,
Disappointment is my guide,
Suicide…

No regrets as a child,
But I was young and Naïve,
Growing bought me pain, so I always sought to leave…
Two decades have passed and still I saw no change,
I now reach my third and I’m clearly quite deranged…

Am I selfish for wanting to be free,
Am I being spiteful to the ones who all love me,
Have you felt my pain, or do you even care,
Have you looked inside yourself to see if I’m even there…

Life’s for the few and the many who can cope,
I’m flawed for my state of mind and my lack of hope,
Who are you to know, and what are you to me,
To criticise my simple life without trying to understand me…

Would I be the subject of your pity were I dead,
Rather that than try to help when I needed you instead,
I’ve always been a problem child as I shouldn’t even be,
Now I am I have a choice to end this misery.

I tried and failed in everything,
And I failed to see your light,
I ask of your forgiveness, when I choose to end this fight…”

There are lots of people that you will meet in your life that all talk of pain and loss who all talk like they have been to the same levels as despair as yourself, but wanting to die and trying to kill yourself are completely different things. I’ve met people, been in relationships with people who use it against you when things go bad but if your lucky enough to survive then its not something your proud of, something you even like people knowing about. It’s a sign of weakness, deep shame, one that isn’t a proud part of your life for so many reasons. Everyone has a story to tell, everyone has times when life is shamefully cruel to them. In some ways I’ve been very fortunate growing up, I have had my health, had a few accidents that have been quite bad but still ok as far as things go so far. I have a kind and loving mother who at times we don’t see eye to eye with but she has been like a mum, a dad and a sister and best friend through out my life. She brought me up for years on nothing but the bare essentials when life was treating her hard and she did a great job, she later met my stepdad and for the first part life was rosy for us all, we moved a lot which left me with my difficulties as a young boy, and keeping friends was always hard as we were never in the same place for that long but it toughened me in other ways. We immigrated to Canada in 1979 when I was nine to Montreal, the French part, great when they teach all your lessons in French… Fucking loved that part, but still, I learn’t French at an early age and made a load of new friends short term. After a while the difficulties of being abroad were paying their toll on my parents and my stepdad was becoming increasingly aggressive towards me and my mother but hey, what’s a beating once in a while, even if you’d done nothing, still we soldiered on.

Fortunately I was lucky to be introduced to music at an early age and this became the rock I clung to through the good and bad periods of my life, something that has stayed with me throughout my life, and which became the catalyst that has introduced me to many of the people who I’ve met in my life, both good and bad.

Music stays with you forever once you fall into its sticky web, whether as a connoisseur, a spectator as many of us are, or as a dabbler of the humble black arts. There isn’t a person alive who hasn’t got memories attached to a song, it enables us to connect to a different time and place in our life, a person, a friend, a lover or an event, everyone has a song, and so many songs have so many meanings.

When I started playing music I wrote a song which still haunts me to this day, even now, it’s a song called ‘hanging on this wall’, a song about whether or not a painting should be hanging on the wall, would the walls be better bare, a song about suicide, even though at the time my life was relatively good and the best it had ever been.

My subconscious obviously wasn’t that happy at the time, and unfortunately as I grew and suffered I fell into that place that I’d once written about some many years earlier.

It’s always been one of my proudest lyrical achievements although I often feel ashamed to have written it, I lock it away and feel the words expose an inner part of me that should never be seen, much like my own wounds. Since, its now one of many which I have been driven to write about through life. Its my way of coping I guess, I see it as my way of therapy now, its maybe a sick thought to be thinking about death but I do, often, never more so than right now. I have so much to look forward to and given the chance could achieve so much in my life, like so many of us all but its not always obvious to us at the time.

The last time I wrote a song I was happy for a change, my latest girfriend stole my heart and consumed me with all the good I could ever hope to experience despite my world slowly crumbling around me, I could look beyond the doom and gloom of my predicament and see a glimmer of hope, unfortunately I was again in the wrong state of being for it to have worked, such is my luck, but I never gave up. I tried but failed, and events in my life didn’t help make it any easier or for us to get any closer.

Recently I’ve had to watch my world slowly fall away, and with this I’ve had to watch it affect those around me who care to the point where its now destroying everything I have. I was too weak to see any hope."

- Fortunately I found myself again...

Springtime Cleavage...
17:39 on 19 March 2009

So, the sun's coming out to play more and more often and i thought it was only fair to address the issue of Cleavage before summer's upon us and its its too late, mainly because before you know it we're up to our nuts in tits...

;D

So, whats the deal ladies, and you all know who you are. Let me set the scene, of which there are many.

Firstly, Its a nice day, your feeling good, you want to go out and set the world on fire with your womanly charms, and so out comes a top, bra, dress or blouse that tries to squeeze every ounce of womanliness into a separate entity, one that often should have its own name and in some cases its own form of transport. Far from me to complain, but as a member of the male species i can't help notice when such assets enter my field of vision, often minutes before the host eventually does. This is often one of the best forms of justification for men to enjoy the summer but it shouldn't be so, should it...?

I have nothing against a heaving bosom, yet, but it makes you wonder how well we'd be appreciated if we strutted down the street with our testicles popping over our belt buckles, resting on our short tops as we gracefully sat by the pool. I'm sure there would be less women as impressed as the male species are over such ample delights. Admittedly there are a few ungraceful members of the male species who may inadvertently let a glimpse show as they raise a leg in such shorts, but they are either cocky or ignorant of the subtleties of the imagination and the power of such an abject display.

I've personally nearly dropped many a sausage as a friend or colleague has accidentally come out to give a cheeky glimpse of his trouser worm whilst in public. Its not clever, and its not wise, and to be fair, whilst the female form can be one of true beauty, the male form can at times be akin to a dead turkey, lazily flapping in the wind. Something that you may want to confine to someone who at least is keen to share your pet, or at least wait till your in private or in a cell of your own...And in the dark!

I also can't understand women who after trying to hoist their breasts higher than the flag often take offense if they catch you taking a cheeky glimpse. Truth be known, its usually hard to look at anything else when Bill and Ben have come out to play, and after all we are all animals, built to survive on instinct and impulse alone. Exhibiting ones beauty is a sign we all respond to, its nature's mating call, a need within us all to show we're virile and healthy, however please don't be surprised that if your cleavage shows up on google earth, then there won't be a hot blooded male that won't be wanting to have a sneaky peak, just for research obviously!

Here in Greece its hard for women to hide their beauty as its a beautiful country full of beautiful people, but also full of people who have desires. Such mammoth displays of boob heaving aren't necessary, if you feel you may pop out at anytime, then you may, exactly that, its enough warning to yourself surely, but nowhere near enough notice for the rest of us. Please bear that in mind.

Also some women think your being rude when you stare at their obviously tweaked upholstery! Being rude surely is to ignore you and all the effort that has gone into looking so seductive and sexy is it not... being rude would be to cover them in strawberry sauce and devour them one by one...being rude would be to bury ones face in them and to pray for a merciful end... otherwise why squeeze into such minuscule outfits anyway? ;D

When its hot i understand there the right for us all to strip off and strutt around naked however there are rules that apply to keep the public sane. Similarly there are common sense factors that cover such issues. If i walked about with my vanity on show i'd expect to be locked up by the Police, or worse (though here in Greece there's not much worse) - trust me...

So women have it lucky on that front...!

Bottom cleavage is another thing, i accept that there are times when through grace we are unable to conceal our little cheeky bosom, our work may force us to do unrepentant things that expose us fully or partially and despite this maybe being accidental, there are levels of hygiene to accommodate if we are to be in such situations regularly. Some women may like seeing a builders arse, i myself have no objection to female builders working out ungracefully in tiny shorts, but this is rarely the case.

Fashion recently has made a select number of people think that by going out revealing your pants is cool, ok, fashion is fashion, on some people it may suit, but if you weigh 300lbs and you've seen some model looking fabulous in some magazine, then i don't care what you think, your going to look like your about to explode as the imminent cheese wire scythes you in half.

In the UK we call them muffin tops, when you see a slightly larger woman wearing something that squeezes her butt fat over her jeans, well, thats an over cooked muffin! If thats you, you need to watch Macedonia TV and get one of them fat suits, they probably advertise them everywhere but GET ONE!

To me, its never a good look, Chav culture has adopted them as the new streetware, but come on, even fat hookers wouldn't risk exposing such flab, there are better ways to try and look sexy, or don't! Secondary, even on a beautiful woman it can lose appeal, remember, its the imagination that inspires, putting it all on show is like being at the market, so many melons out on display makes you want an ice cream instead...Either that or you'll spend forever feeling around to get the best one...

Life's not a market ladies, but we all love shopping... Just remember who you want us to talk to and don't be surprised if there's at least three of us in the conversation...

;D

Well, its been a while.
11:22 on 07 April 2009

Unfortunately I haven't had a great deal to write about lately due to the complications my life has thrown at me recently, the joyful honeymoon period of feeling Greece was great has worn off to the harsh reality of what it truly is. Don't get me wrong, i still love its madness and so many other aspects to what it has to offer but i'm just physically drained by how useless as a country it actually is.

I'm not here to upset people by saying any of this, I'm truly not, however i've been here nearly a year now, exactly one year in 26 days so i feel i have seen quite a bit and have as much a right to my views now as anyone, and i have paid my dues and have now suffered as many Greeks do on a regular basis anyway, and this last year I have seen much of the darkness this country has in store for all people from all walks of life anyway to be able to say my bit, and so i will.

So where to begin...

Well, working in Exarhia prior to Christmas and seeing the city become a warzone in a matter of hours day after day was something i hope i never experience again, anywhere in the world, not just in Greece. Its one thing when you turn on the TV and see rioters burning and destroying a city, Police openly beating protestors and demonstrators alike, and buildings being set on fire, yet when you have to make your way through the chaos, stumbling through broken glass and debris to try and sneak your way out of the area without getting beaten or hit by missiles, well its something else. I'm not saying the riots where wrong, but as an innocent person trying to get by in life, neither the rioters nor the Police had any respect for anyone other than themselves at times and the fact that more people didn't die as a result was quite amazing. And yes i can complain as our office was in the centre of Exarhia, we used to sit with our eyes streaming as the Tear gas hovered in the air as we tried to do our jobs, this after having to walk through it for some 4-500 yards as we avoided the glass and fires that raged along our street, watching the builders try to patch up the businesses as the fire brigade tried to put out the remnants of the nights folly, this all as we tried not to get arrested each morning for being in the area anyway.

Having had my first bad experience with a Taxi driver who stole my clothes on my Birthday to now having worked for a nasty lying piece of sh*t who openly lied and stole his way through his career has also been an experience. Despite him openly admitting to the staff that he was fraudulently fabricating receipts for money over the last five years at least, i still laugh in bemusement as no one is prepared to do much about it without a push, but there's a push, and you can count on it... Everything from the way he treats the staff to the poor unfortunate refugee's that are supposedly sent there to receive help is just shocking, and yet in Greece its seen as almost normal, he owes me several thousand euro's and is being chased for rent owed and several other unpaid matters also, and again, who cares, no one. I have now been attacked and nearly robbed by a drunk Taxi driver, (outside the Police station at that, and in view of three officers), and yet as the Taxi driver tried to drive me into another vehicle they didn't see a thing, however after i was dragged into the station and wanted their testimony they didn't see a thing or want anything other than to lock me up for the weekend for being a foreigner who wanted justice to be done, (outrageous I know), however fortunately a dear friend saved the day and kept me from having to hire a helicopter to fly me out of Prison.

Lets not forget that this is after the incident whereby a Prisoner had already stolen a Police car having been left unattended in the car with a firearm, he then went on to nearly escape, this is also after the Scandal whereby elements within the Clergy tried to sell off Holy land here in Greece, and before the classic case whereby a known criminal and offender who had previously escaped a so called maximum prison by helicopter, escapes a maximum security prison by helicopter...

Now excuse me while i struggle to suppress a laugh, however if i offered a script like that to hollywood, they'd have me thrown out and probably locked up too. You can't make sh*t like that up unless you come to Greece and see it first hand, and that's only scratching the surface of this last year, honestly...

I'm not sabre rattling either trying to say the UK is any better, if it were, do you think i would have left...? Hell no, that's not my point, i'm just surprised and shocked about how poorly run, how few rights people have and how impossible things are to get done here.

In some aspects its very much worse than a third world country, broken beyond the point of normality in its governing system, run by dictators and people who have no reason to share the rights of the country with its people, and devoid of compassion for what should be or for those who truly want to attain any greatness in their lives. This is the truly shocking part for me.

No matter what you try and do, get done or want doing, you can't as there is no sense of pride or achievement in most people as everyone knows the systems so unbelievably f*cked anyway, so why bother...

A friend of mine here informed us that recently where he works, out of a number of positions that were going within government, half had to be assigned to a select group of people who were friends, family or people who had been promised the jobs, the rest were to be just given out by someone who didn't have any relevant experience anyway.

So, the next time you deal with the government and you wonder why nothing f*cking works and why no one has a f*cking clue, ask yourself if in a country whereby some idiots f*ckwit cousin gets a job he can't do, is it probably because he's stood in front of you...

And again i can confirm this on many levels, i'm not just clutching at straws on these matters, I've been here a year, had to endure some real sh*t and have dealt with the system with the help of informed friends, Greek's who thought they knew the system too, only for us all to end up wondering what Planet we'd suddenly woken up on. When i first arrived, the UK embassy, the Greek consulate, the local authorities, the Immigration centre and the Police. ALL didn't know where i was to go to obtain my Residents Permit. Every website link, every office we were told to speak to, every dumb assed office we were sent to, and every senior person within the afore mentioned organisations, all didn't have a clue...

Again, don't get me wrong - I truly love Greece. I love the country, I love the madness, I love the weather, I love the people who suffer as i do, but i can't stand a society that rattles on about being the architects of so called democracy when they can't even get the basics right 2000 years on. Now since i've been here, most people have pre warned me to the sh*t that happens here, and i thank you for your honesty, but don't let what could be a great country be destroyed by a few that don't care.

This isn't just about Greece either, it's anywhere where things are wrong. When something doesn't work and screws the people its their to help, its fundamentally wrong on all levels and against why it was elected in the first place.

I see the coming election details appearing more and more on the news and sadly don't feel i know or understand enough of your country and the mentality yet to be a true voter, however you all do! You know what you want and you know what is wrong probably far more than i do, so for god's sake, don't let the next elections allow the same sh*t to happen any longer.

My nan was heavily into Politics and always said you can't complain if you don't try and change the way it is, and she was right. You all have the right, i'm one person, a foreigner that no one gives a damn about at that and i don't expect to change the world to suit me. Nice though it may be, i know its not possible, however you all can, its your country, you suffer, and you have the right to some things that some parts of the world take for granted.

Your rights...